The Reporting Team built a project prioritisation matrix

“It has a padlock icon.”— Managing Director

Reason:

Because the tiny change needs approval from 2 people. Presented in a town hall as "innovation".

Built by:

Marco, a recruiter

Build time:

a long Thursday

Built with:

plain HTML and 1,900 lines of jQuery

Database:

an old laptop in the server room

Authentication:

the role is a query parameter

Deployment:

deployed straight to production on a Sunday, no staging

Responsible:

whoever answers the support email

Documentation:

a folder called OLD_DO_NOT_USE containing the current documentation

Security situation:

the threat model is "why would anyone attack us?"

Future disaster:

It will send an invoice of €249 to the wrong country.

Age: 6.9 years · originally expected to last 2 months · 2 owners so far · survived 3 reorganisations · last meaningful change 19 days ago · original builder left 790 days ago

Rated common mostly because: 49 users, alive 42x longer than intended, the builder has left.