The Process Excellence Team built a risk matrix with 47 shades of yellow

“We didn't have time for a ticket.”— HR Generalist

Reason:

Honestly? Because the API documentation says "ask Sofia". With 236 users and zero documentation.

Built by:

Marco, an intern

Build time:

one weekend

Built with:

a webhook pointed at someone's ngrok tunnel

Database:

a database on Daniel's laptop

Authentication:

the password manager is someone's browser

Deployment:

deployed behind a Cloudflare Tunnel from Sarah's laptop

Responsible:

Tobias, currently on parental leave

Documentation:

a Jira ticket with 56 comments

Security situation:

rate limiting consists of hoping nobody notices

Future disaster:

It will hold the only copy of Headcount.xlsx.

Age: 67 days · originally expected to last 7 days · 1 owner so far · last meaningful change 19 days ago · original builder left 34 days ago

Rated common mostly because: 27 users, the builder has left, alive 10x longer than intended.