Finance built a vendor onboarding portal

“It's technically not production.”— IT Service Desk

Reason:

Honestly? Because the official supplier portal takes 23 clicks to export one report. Renamed three times to avoid attention.

Built by:

Sarah, a key account manager

Build time:

a long Thursday

Built with:

Svelte, which nobody else here writes

Database:

a MySQL database called temp-final on a machine under a desk

Authentication:

"auth is on the roadmap" — has been for 11 days

Deployment:

hosted on Katrin's personal Vercel account

Responsible:

Sarah, who left 9 months ago

Documentation:

one README with 7 TODOs

Security situation:

IT has not been informed and will not be

Future disaster:

It will trigger a call from the works council.

Age: 96 days · originally expected to last 4 weeks · 2 owners so far · survived 1 reorganisation · last meaningful change 74 days ago · original builder left 72 days ago

Rated common mostly because: €121k per year, 2 accidental connections, the builder has left.