Logistics built a sales dashboard nobody asked for

“It's only 800 lines.”— Lukas, Logistics

Reason:

Officially because management has a PowerPoint with a third number. Quietly rolled out to three countries.

Built by:

Lukas, a key account manager

Build time:

a long Thursday

Built with:

a Rails app from 2016 nobody updated

Database:

a column called do_not_use that is required

Authentication:

MFA exists, but everyone clicked "remember this device forever"

Deployment:

running from an image tagged final-final

Responsible:

a shared mailbox nobody reads

Documentation:

a Confluence page owned by Jens, who left

Security situation:

the API key is called PUBLIC_API_KEY

Future disaster:

It will cause Head of Operations to request an immediate status meeting.

Age: 14 days · originally expected to last 2 months · 1 owner so far · survived 1 reorganisation · last meaningful change 14 days ago · original builder left 59 days ago

Rated mythic mostly because: €2.4m per year, 887 users, 60% chance of becoming business critical.