Customer Support built a KPI wall for a screen nobody looks at

“It's on a weird port.”— Group Controller

Reason:

Because the existing report is a PDF of a screenshot of Headcount_new2.xlsx. With 30 users and 47 feature requests.

Built by:

Olivier, a product owner

Build time:

an afternoon, mostly

Built with:

a Slack bot doing database writes

Database:

an Access database called Budget2026_old.xlsx with 4 linked tables

Authentication:

the token expiration date is optional

Deployment:

deployed from Anja's laptop

Responsible:

Marco, because they clicked "create project" first

Documentation:

a PDF exported from PowerPoint

Security situation:

the security review consisted of Katrin saying "looks fine"

Future disaster:

It will fail during the year-end close.

Age: 3.2 years · originally expected to last 2 months · 6 owners so far · survived 2 reorganisations · last meaningful change 823 days ago

Rated common mostly because: 6 departments depend on it, alive 20x longer than intended, 1 users.