Operations built a certification expiry alerter

“It's not indexed.”— Plant Manager

Reason:

Honestly? Because the documentation starts with "TODO". Renamed three times to avoid attention.

Built by:

Elena, a product owner

Build time:

a long Thursday

Built with:

Svelte, which nobody else here writes

Database:

an in-memory dictionary. Restarts are exciting.

Authentication:

the password manager is a Word document

Deployment:

behind a CDN for an app only used inside one building

Responsible:

Priya, who is currently interviewing elsewhere

Documentation:

a Confluence page owned by Tobias, who left

Security situation:

the penetration test account had global admin

Future disaster:

It will get backups after the first data loss.

Age: 1.9 years · originally expected to last 14 days · 2 owners so far · survived 1 reorganisation · last meaningful change 74 days ago

Rated common mostly because: 326 users, alive 50x longer than intended, 23% chance of becoming business critical.