Facilities built a sales dashboard nobody asked for

“It's behind the VPN.”— Group Controller

Reason:

Honestly? Because the roadmap says Q1, but nobody wrote down the year. Already exported 938 rows to somebody's laptop.

Built by:

Anja, an analyst

Build time:

an afternoon, mostly

Built with:

Excel macros, exposed over HTTP

Database:

Firebase with the admin SDK key committed to Git

Authentication:

anonymous users are mapped to "default admin"

Deployment:

restarted manually every Thursday

Responsible:

Finance, apparently

Documentation:

a Word document with tracked changes still enabled

Security situation:

the incident response plan starts with "call Sarah"

Future disaster:

It will get SSO after somebody shares the password publicly.

Age: 250 days · originally expected to last 7 days · 2 owners so far · survived 1 reorganisation · last meaningful change 3 days ago

Rated common mostly because: alive 36x longer than intended, 1 departments depend on it, 1 users.