Operations built a vibe-coded replacement for Salesforce

“We'll clean it up after launch.”— IT Service Desk

Reason:

Because Friday at 16:26 seemed like a reasonable time to deploy. With 224 users and 63 feature requests.

Built by:

Ravi, someone from Procurement

Build time:

3 evenings

Built with:

Svelte, because apparently this was the moment to experiment

Database:

DynamoDB with one item containing everything

Authentication:

the password was last changed 34 days ago

Deployment:

running with 98% memory usage and "seems fine"

Responsible:

Chen, who inherited it from Ravi by accident

Documentation:

a spreadsheet cell containing "ask Sarah"

Security situation:

the certificate expired 209 days ago

Future disaster:

It will hold the only copy of Stock_list_v2_final.xlsm.

Age: 13 days · originally expected to last 14 days · 2 owners so far · last meaningful change 13 days ago · original builder left 50 days ago

Rated common mostly because: 34% chance of becoming business critical, €39k per year, the builder has left.