The Person Who Knows SQL built a KPI dashboard explaining the other KPI dashboard

“It's only for one department.”— Bastian, The Person Who Knows SQL

Reason:

Honestly? Because the roadmap says Q3, but nobody wrote down the year. With 2 users, one of whom is the CEO.

Built by:

Bastian, a product owner

Build time:

27 minutes

Built with:

Python and a cron job on a laptop

Database:

an FTP server nobody knows the password for

Authentication:

the audit log contains passwords

Deployment:

behind a CDN for an app only used inside one building

Responsible:

Lukas, who has never seen the source code

Documentation:

a PDF containing screenshots of the old UI

Security situation:

the audit log is console.log

Future disaster:

It will outlive two reorganisations.

Age: 2.9 years · originally expected to last 14 days · 2 owners so far · survived 1 reorganisation · last meaningful change 210 days ago

Rated common mostly because: alive 77x longer than intended, 1 accidental connections, 1 users.