Enterprise Architecture built a resource allocation tool

“The AI understands the code.”— Nadia, Enterprise Architecture

Reason:

Honestly? Because Elena from Enterprise Architecture is on holiday until April. With 531 users and zero documentation.

Built by:

Nadia, a key account manager

Build time:

one weekend

Built with:

Redis, permanently

Database:

three databases, each claiming to be the source of truth

Authentication:

CSRF protection was disabled during debugging

Deployment:

running from an image tagged final-final

Responsible:

Chen, because their email address is in the config

Documentation:

an architecture diagram containing a box labelled "magic happens here"

Security situation:

security is handled by the fact nobody knows it exists

Future disaster:

It will cause Group Controller to request an immediate status meeting.

Age: 155 days · originally expected to last 4 weeks · 1 owner so far · survived 1 reorganisation · last meaningful change 155 days ago

Rated common mostly because: 49% chance of becoming business critical, 99 users, €53k per year.