Quality Assurance built a data export tool that exports everything

“AWS probably handles that.”— Jens, Quality Assurance

Reason:

Allegedly because the prototype has 234,764 production records. Presented in a town hall as "innovation".

Built by:

Jens, a key account manager

Build time:

an afternoon, mostly

Built with:

an AI agent with shell access

Database:

a SharePoint list that started as a temporary workaround

Authentication:

the encryption key is in the source code

Deployment:

running with 96% disk usage

Responsible:

a shared mailbox nobody reads

Documentation:

a PowerPoint with 70 slides

Security situation:

it stores passwords, hashed with nothing

Future disaster:

It will eventually process €240,000 per month.

Age: 4.2 years · originally expected to last 3 weeks · 4 owners so far · survived 3 reorganisations · last meaningful change 3 days ago · original builder left 1251 days ago

Rated legendary mostly because: 817 users, €128k per year, 2 accidental connections.