IT (yes, really) built a customer portal

“It's basically an internal tool.”— HR Generalist

Reason:

Mainly because the correct dropdown option is "Other". With a logo generated at 16:12.

Built by:

Lukas, an intern

Build time:

a long Thursday

Built with:

an AI agent with shell access

Database:

Elasticsearch, because somebody wanted search

Authentication:

"auth is on the roadmap" — has been for 141 days

Deployment:

deployed to staging, which customers are now using

Responsible:

Lukas, who left 16 months ago

Documentation:

a PowerPoint from 2023 labelled FINAL

Security situation:

the audit log was disabled because the disk filled up

Future disaster:

It will be used for an audit nobody told Priya about.

Age: 150 days · originally expected to last 2 months · 1 owner so far · survived 1 reorganisation · last meaningful change 19 days ago · original builder left 110 days ago

Rated legendary mostly because: 481 users, 95% chance of becoming business critical, €198k per year.