Quality Assurance built a budget forecast tool with hardcoded 2019 rates

“The quarter ends Friday.”— Thomas, Quality Assurance

Reason:

Allegedly because the export button creates copy of copy of Suppliers_v2.xlsm, but nobody knows where. With dark mode and no error handling.

Built by:

Thomas, a controller

Build time:

5 hours 55 minutes

Built with:

Google Apps Script

Database:

Neo4j because someone drew arrows on a whiteboard

Authentication:

the certificate expired 823 days ago

Deployment:

running from an image tagged final-final

Responsible:

the person sitting closest to the printer

Documentation:

a Loom video recorded at 1.5x speed

Security situation:

the app is secure because the browser shows a padlock

Future disaster:

It will email customer data to a market you do not operate in.

Age: 8.1 years · originally expected to last 7 days · 2 owners so far · survived 1 reorganisation · last meaningful change 823 days ago

Rated common mostly because: 3 accidental connections, alive 422x longer than intended, 2 departments depend on it.