R&D built Excel with a login screen

☠️ No known owner🧟 Builder has left🕸️ Load bearing

Users823

Departments1

Criticality22%

Money involvedunknown

“Claude wrote most of it.”— Regional Sales Lead

Reason:: Allegedly because the dashboard disagrees with Finance by €799. Built during an offsite instead of the thing they were asked to build.
Built by:: Marco, a recruiter
Build time:: 1 hours 9 minutes
Built with:: WordPress with eleven plugins
Database:: an old laptop in the server room
Authentication:: the secret is in README.md
Deployment:: deployed every time Elena remembers
Responsible:: nobody. It has no owner.
Documentation:: a 78 minute screen recording
Security situation:: production secrets are in Git history
Future disaster:: It will email customer data to a market you do not operate in.

Accidentally connected to (5)

→ depends on a production secret copied from another project
→ depends on an Excel macro
→ depends on an application scheduled for decommissioning
→ uses Google Sheets as an event log
→ uploads nightly exports to an FTP server

⚠️ Removing this app may now destroy the company.

Age: 4.6 years · originally expected to last 4 weeks · 6 owners so far · survived 1 reorganisation · last meaningful change 3 days ago · original builder left 1313 days ago

Rated legendary mostly because: 823 users, 5 accidental connections, alive 56x longer than intended.

Admit this was you

R&D built Excel with a login screen