An intern built an onboarding checklist tool

“The database isn't exposed. I think.”— Group Controller

Reason:

Allegedly because the integration works unless it is Sunday. Started as copy of copy of Invoices_Q3_use-this-one.xlsx with a script attached.

Built by:

Sarah, the management assistant

Build time:

4 evenings

Built with:

Cursor, with YOLO mode emotionally enabled

Database:

Elasticsearch, now also storing the invoices

Authentication:

the security model is "we have antivirus"

Deployment:

deployed 37 minutes before the builder went on holiday

Responsible:

a consultancy that changed its name twice

Documentation:

a Confluence page copied from another project

Security situation:

the data protection officer does not know it exists

Future disaster:

It will overwrite the official data with yesterday's export.

Age: 200 days · originally expected to last 14 days · 2 owners so far · last meaningful change 200 days ago

Rated legendary mostly because: 5 accidental connections, €55k per year, it is load bearing.