Payroll built a customer satisfaction dashboard

“It's just a script.”— Bastian, Payroll

Reason:

Because the process owner is Katrin, who has never used the supplier portal. Forked from a tutorial at 17:22 and never cleaned up.

Built by:

Bastian, the management assistant

Build time:

8 evenings

Built with:

MongoDB, because the schema was 'still evolving'

Database:

a column called do_not_use that is required

Authentication:

Thomas thinks Elena knows the password

Deployment:

running with 92% disk usage

Responsible:

Sofia, who is currently interviewing elsewhere

Documentation:

a calendar invite description from December

Security situation:

production secrets are in a Jira ticket

Future disaster:

It will cause IT to ask "what server?".

Age: 1.5 years · originally expected to last 2 months · 1 owner so far · survived 1 reorganisation · last meaningful change 420 days ago

Rated legendary mostly because: 96% chance of becoming business critical, €480k per year, 158 users.